The Chew Tamer's Journey

I am often reminded of the importance of balance and of humor. I find that many of us have a tendency to see the world in black and white and to focus all too often on the negative aspects of our behavior. We find ourselves bouncing back and forth between severely restricting ourselves and being helplessly out of control. I am not just speaking about eating, but about our general lifestyles. It is easy to view the world as black and white. This view enables us to choose one course of action and follow it. That simplifies things, doesn't it? Life is not black and white, however, and the course of action we follow one minute may not be the course of action that is in our best interest at a different time. We have to make choices every minute and every choice we make cannot be self-loving. No one can do that! So to be in balance we do our best to be flexible and gentle with ourselves and we remind ourselves to appreciate life as an ever-changing process. This is not as easy as it sounds.

We are each a work-in-progress. There are always new paths to explore and new lessons to learn. How can we expect to behave perfectly in each moment when each moment brings new challenges and experiences with it? Why do so many of us insist that we must behave perfectly in all situations and at all times? If we place this unrealistic expectation upon ourselves we assure that we will fail. Then we are likely to waste valuable time berating ourselves. This inevitably leads to self-abusive behavior – like stuffing ourselves. Sound familiar?

Being perfect is not the human way. No wonder we become so serious, rigid and narrow minded about our self-care. If we keep ourselves focused on what we haven't done "right" and punish ourselves for failing to attain the unattainable, we are missing life and missing the fun. And speaking of missing the fun...

I would like to introduce you to one of my friends. His name is Rich. He is a fellow professional speaker and author and he has been helping me learn to "lighten up". He is indeed a very funny guy and he has a magical way of putting life events into perspective – something I need help with from time to time. (I, like many of you, can be far too serious much of the time.) When I spend time with Rich, I laugh more and feel happier. Things that seemed so serious and overwhelming often magically click into focus and become manageable. He is a compassionate, refreshing and lovable man and I have invited him to send a message to you, my Chew Tamers, every once in a while. I am thrilled to say that he has agreed! So you will meet him yourselves soon in an upcoming issue of Chew Tamer's Journey. You are likely to find his perspective unusual, amusing and even a bit irreverent at times. It is my hope that the wisdom he shares in such unique ways will be helpful. E-mail me and let me know what you think.

So, my friend Rich helps me to maintain balance and to tap into my sense of humor. I find this surprisingly helpful. When I view my life and myself less seriously and play more the benefits are far reaching. I find that if I don't get too tangled up in serious adult business that I am better at everything I do – whether I am speaking of work-related tasks, eating behavior, exercise or any other aspect of my busy life. So my message to you this month is to "lighten up". Relax and play more often. This will help you battle winter doldrums and compulsive behaviors as well. You will have more energy and more fun and that's what life is for, right?

My warmest wishes as you continue to nurture yourself,

Dr. Denise