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According to the Associated Press report
dated 02/01/07 binge eating is now the number one eating disorder our
country. This is more prevalent than other disorders, including anorexia,
and bulimia. This does not surprise me as most of the clients I see
struggle with eating to excess to some degree. We binge because we are
trying to fill ourselves up. We have the right idea (take care of our
feelings) but the wrong solution (overeat). One reason for this is that
we seldom, if ever, take the time to really tune in to what our emotions
are and what valuable information they are trying to give us.
When I ask “Do you take the
time to feel your feelings?” most people answer “yes.” Each implies with
their tone of voice and facial expression that my question is a foolish
one. You may be agreeing with them as you read this. Reality is that with
the busy lives we lead precious little time is spent acknowledging and
attending to our feelings.
For one thing, we seldom, if
ever, feel only one feeling at a time. In fact we often flood with
assorted emotions. It can feel too difficult, in fact overwhelming, to
discern what our true feelings are and then to decipher the messages they
are trying so hard to deliver to us. Even as we are trying to figure out
what we’re feeling more feelings are coming along. These persistent
feelings make up our internal guidance system and as such are constantly
providing the information we require to make the very best choices for
ourselves.
We are always striving to
find joy and balance. This is our life’s purpose. This is our most
important task. If we feel cold, we might put on a coat. If we feel
thirsty, we search for something to drink. We need to experience the
discomfort of too hot or cold in order to know what a comfortable
temperature level feels like. We require the experience of hunger to
recognize satiation. We are “wired” this way. Chances are you have heard
this before, but have you ever really stopped to think about it? That is
what I am asking you to do now – just think about it. Think of how
wondrous our bodies and emotions are as they constantly provide the
feedback we need to make choices in our own best interests. They do
provide the guidance if we only stop, pay attention to them and heed
their messages!
We are busy people and with
each new time saving gadget that is invented, we get busier. Our thoughts
and feelings then become more congested and harder to decipher. It is not
only prudent but essential to slow down and untangle the many thoughts
and feelings we are having if we are to make sense of them and follow the
wise guidance they are trying so hard to provide to us. If we do not make
the time (not find the time because we never will just find the time) to
access and name our feelings we are likely to find ourselves
thoughtlessly engaging in overeating behavior to quiet the noise and
confusion we are experiencing inside.
It may feel too overwhelming
to us to slow down and go within to figure out what our experience really
is at the moment. We are not accustomed to doing this. I strongly urge
you to stop and consider what you are feeling at this moment. Then, quietly
practice tuning in to yourself and noticing your feelings as often as you
can. As you do this throughout the day, you will become more and more in
touch with what your real needs are from one moment to the next and
thoughts of foods will diminish. They will recede into the background as
your real needs are called to the foreground. Then you can choose the
very best actions to take to give yourself what you are really craving.
It is the human way to
soothe ourselves when we feel “bad.” It is likewise the human way to
“treat” ourselves when we are happy -- and we have constant opportunities
to do so. Food is the focal point of nearly every occasion and the sweet,
addictive, mind- numbing foods that encourage overindulgence are the most
popular. There are good reasons for this. We are busy and busier every
day. We are not Ever Ready Bunnies however. We are humans who spend much
time doing and not much time being. When we fill our bodies with pastries
and candies, we numb ourselves, zone out and we feel little. The
pressures of the day recede temporarily into the background and we smile
and nap and automatically reach for more anesthetic foods to keep the
edge off of our feelings. These unhealthy foods are serving a purpose for
us – a purpose many of us have come to rely on. They are helping us to
calm down and to stop the rush of chaotic thoughts and feelings that we
were likely in the middle of when we grabbed the first bite. But aren’t
we are keeping ourselves drugged and out of touch with the wonder and joy
of being alive?
So, what if we went without
our customary sugar or carbohydrate fix? What if we actually took the
time to stop and think and to take full responsibility for our feelings,
choices and our actions? What would happen in your life if you resigned
as the busiest person in the family, the workplace, the neighborhood or
school? Chances are that the world would continue to spin on its axis and
life on earth would continue. So ask yourself if your services are really
as important as you think? You are indeed a very important person but
what purpose is it serving for you to race mindlessly through your life
at breakneck speed taking care of everyone and everything else and trying
to do it all perfectly? Why keep charging toward that unattainable goal
of perfection? It is an automatic set up for failure. Why not slow down,
relax and focus for a while of what you truly want? Why not do this
several times a day? It will become a habit that will serve you well.
In the next several
newsletters I will outline a simple four step plan you can implement to
overcome addictive, emotional eating. So, stay tuned and why not tell all
your friends to sign up for Dr. Denise’s Chew Tamer’s Journey as well?
Then you can discuss this plan and use it to your best advantage?
Also, I am sorry for the
delay in sending out little
C
hewlett Dolls. A new supply has just arrived so orders will be filled
soon and I can now accept new orders. Because of this delay, anyone who
is already waiting for their little Chewlett buddy or anyone who orders a
Chewlett before April first will receive a free CD, (“Emotional Eating”)
along with their new little pal.
Stay warm. Enjoy the brisk weather in the meantime. And
remember spring is just around the bend!
Make today fantastic! Warmly,
Dr. Denise
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