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Many spiritual readings suggest that everything happens for a reason and that we don’t always understand why these things happen at the time. Later, in retrospect, we might see that what we thought of as a disappointment or loss presented us with an opportunity to learn and to grow. The experience that we did not appreciate at the time quite possibly made space for something better to come along. This is one of the great mysteries of life. We would all like to have things go “our way” of course but there are times when things just don’t. We think we know what’s best for us but actually we don’t always know what is in our long range best interests. We may act carefully and strive very hard to achieve a goal but sometimes things fall apart. This may mean that the universe has a different plan for us!

You may be asking “What does this have to do with taming my chew?” Answer: everything. I have a friend who told me there are two kinds of days – good days and days when you don’t get your way. This is true. When things are going according to our plans, we may cruise along confidently, feeling contented and happy. But then there are those days when, despite our best intentions and efforts, things go wrong. Perhaps you have experienced this? (Or am I the only one?) These are the days when we are most likely to feel cranky, discouraged, tired, depressed or anxious. These are the times when our Chew will most likely try to convince us to act against our own best interests.

Whenever we experience uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions, the Chew is always there to suggest we soothe ourselves with unhealthy choices – most often sugar laden foods and simple carbohydrates. Our resolve weakens at these times and opportunities to sabotage ourselves abound. Some Chew messages we might hear include: “You’ve been trying so hard. You deserve a treat.” “Watching what you eat today is just too hard. Have some ice cream and leave everything for tomorrow.” Or perhaps something like, “Enjoy today, later you can worry about your health.” These are messages my Chew frequently delivers.

It is helpful to develop an intimate relationship with your Chew. Then, when you are feeling “badly” the self-destructive messages from your Chew can be suggestions to stop and think instead of signals to thoughtlessly run to the candy machine or donut shop. Listen carefully to the messages of your Chew and you will begin to recognize patterns. For example, if your Chew is telling you to overeat each time your boss criticizes you, you can plan ahead. Think in advance of ways you can take care of yourself when you feel criticized. You will likely crave unhealthy food at those times because you have taken care of yourself with sugars and carbohydrates for years, but perhaps there are other ways to more constructively deal with your feelings – talk with your boss if s/he is approachable, vent with a friend, talk or vent to your Chewlett, write down a few angry words about how you feel (which you then shred), go for a short walk, etc.

Sometimes clients come to me who want to learn how to go through life without ever experiencing uncomfortable feelings. This is not possible. It is not the human way. So, if we are to manage our food behaviors it is prudent that we think in advance about ways to soothe ourselves without food on those inevitable days when things are not going our way. There will be those days (You can count on it!) and it isn’t ever in our best interest to use them as excuses to harm ourselves. Please be patient and gentle with yourself. Do your best to treat yourself lovingly, no matter what is going on around you. As time passes you will be more and more able to recognize the voice of your Chew. You will not do this perfectly every time however. None of us can. So, use the times you don’t treat yourself well to learn from. Think about ways you might handle things differently in the future. NEVER beat yourself up! That is NEVER helpful! Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.

Enjoy fall!
Dr. Denise